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another update

copied from my note posted on facebook:

what a roller coaster! the last couple of days have been really tough. after a rough time this weekend, we were hopeful that my mom was getting better and that her 'mental clarity' would improve as her liver function normalized. well, those numbers continued to improve, but her state did not. this led the dr. to believe that it may be the medication, causing the problem. in one of those fun, chicken and egg scenarios, her liver was severely irritated from the procedure, but she needed to take medication to control pain and keep her calm. this medication needed to be processed through the liver. which was not doing so well in that function. the dr. believed that the medication may have been building up and she was not reacting well to it, so he spoke with the pharmacist to switch her medication to something that would be processed through the kidneys instead, thus giving her liver a break. we were hopeful that this change would allow her to get the other stuff out of her system and come back to 'normal'. this was all happening in the early afternoon. i went in around 5 to visit, and she was sleeping. the dr. came in and i spoke with him. he sounded encouraging, but was a still a little bit baffled by her condition. she did have a slightly normal conversation with him during that time, but she was mostly asleep. still, it was the most normal i'd heard since i spoke with her on the phone last friday night. i felt encouraged. i left for a little while, since she was just sleeping, and i needed to charge my phone and get some coffee. when i got back, she was starting to wake up. sort of. she was very aggitated, seemed to be in a lot of pain. was angry and seemed to be hallucinating. even with 2 doses of pain medication, she wasn't settling down, and they wound up giving her a dose of the medication to calm her down. it took about an hour for her to finally calm down and go back to sleep. WORST EXPERIENCE EVER. i stayed until 10pm or so, and finally came home since she was sleeping. it was so discouraging. and having had the hope that that sort of thing would be diminishing with the change in medication, only to see the worst episode yet was awful. given that they are unsure what is causing this reaction, it was hard to not wonder if this horrible state might be permanent. a very scary thought.

so when i got a call from my dad this morning, saying that they had her out of bed and in a chair, that she was aware that he was there, although groggy and a little bit confused, i was elated. relieved and hopeful that there might be some improvement.

i feel like i'm walking a fine line here. i want to protect my mom's privacy, and not share too many details. but i also know that there are so many people who care about her and her progress in this. and she needs prayers. lots of prayers. for healing, for answers, for encouragement. i really appreciate everyone's support. hopefully tomorrow's update will be better.

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dear to do list,

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