i'm feeling really lazy lately. well, some might think i'm lazy all the time, but it's worse right now. i always get really down on myself when i'm having trouble keeping things organized, when my house is a mess, when we eat mac and cheese for dinner, etc. usually that's appropriate motivation to get me off my butt and make me keep things in some sort of relative order. but night now it's really bad. i don't feel like doing anything. there are toys all over, and i purposely make myself not see them because i just don't want to pick them up. same with the dirt behind the door in the bathroom. the pile of clothes that need to be ironed, the mess in my bedroom, the crap falling out of the drawers in my bathroom, the garage. i don't want to go grocery shopping. i don't want to cook. the floor needs to be swept and mopped in the kitchen and dining room and the sink is dirty. the backyard is a total disaster and i just don't feel like caring. i feel tired. i feel lazy. i feel like holding my kids and snuggling instead of hollering at them to pick up their stuff. i'm sick of piling everyone into the car and driving EVERYWHERE. maybe it's the weather. it's getting to be build a fire and cuddle up with a cup of cocoa kind of weather. so those of you with clean houses, those of you with fridges and pantries stocked and dinners on the table. those of you who have not gone into hibernation... just don't show me pictures.
do you ever feel at odds with yourself? i constantly feel like i'm a big wad of contradictions. and being the living-in-my-head, overthinking type i can spend years, i mean hours pondering things. it can really get me down. example: diapers. one would think that this was a relatively easy thing to handle. i've got 3 kids. i'm pretty familiar with diapers. it seems so simple; your baby needs a change so you take the old diaper off and put a new one on. done. right? no. i have this constant dilemma going on. cloth or disposable. i have 25 perfectly good fitted cloth diapers that i paid a lot of money for when i decided a couple years ago that i was done filling up landfills. so micah wears them a good share of the time. but it bugs me that they're so bulky, especially with the covers on and clothes fit funny and that totally drives me nuts. so at home, he just wears the diaper w/ no cover and when we leave the house, i put a disposable on him. not usually...
Holding your kids and snuggling is why staying home from work pays off. Have fun relaxing!
ReplyDeleteHang in there, Rachel. With what you do in a normal day, it puts me to shame.
ReplyDeleteremind me again... what is it that i do? actually, i'm pleased to report that blogging about my lack of motivation apparently was somewhat motivating and i immediately got up from the computer yesterday and fixed a pot roast for dinner, emptied and refilled my dishwasher, and put away all the crap in my bathroom. not perfect, but it's a start. i just need someone to invent bathrooms that clean themselves, dishes that wash themselves, laundry that folds itself, children who clean up after themselves.... you get the picture.
ReplyDeleteWhat are you waiting for? It sounds like now's the time for that invention that gives you $50 when you complete a chore. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm blue all winter. I need a sun light.
ReplyDelete