how to use a bathroom scale...

so this is a lovely little IM conversation that i was having with dave today. he was at work, i was at home. he bought this fancy schmancy scale yesterday that not only weighs you, it tells you your body fat and body water percentages... also makes great fries. i can't figure the darn thing out, and that's basically what sparked this conversation. he insisted i blog it....

Rachel says:
i can't figure out the scale. i tried to get on it this morning, and layla wanted to get on it. but it just keeps cycling through the preset age and heights. but won't weigh.

Dave says:
just pull the scale out from the wall...step on it slightly, then when you see something on the screen, step on it

Rachel says:
ok. you don't have to turn it on?

Dave says:
the on/off button is only for the body fat/water feature

Rachel says:
ok. so how do you make that work? like i know you turn it on for 3 seconds and then go up to your preset #, but then what??

Dave says:
then you stand on it...I believe...read the manual

Rachel says:
that's what you're for.

Dave says:
well, I haven't fully explored it

Rachel says:
you read the stuff, figure it out and then explain it to me.. that way i don't have to.

Rachel says:
it's a huge time-saver

Dave says:
hahaha

Dave says:
I could have just gotten the 6 dollar scale with the analog readout

Rachel says:
yeah, i know how to use those

Rachel says:
1. pee, undress, exhale, pray.

Rachel says:
2. step on, while stretching upward, as if to help your weight evaporate.

Rachel says:
3. look down at the #s w/ one eye shut.

Rachel says:
4. gasp.

Rachel says:
5. swear at the damn thing.

Rachel says:
6. throw out window and disregard any bad news. it was a stupid cheap scale anyway and doesn't know what it's talking about.

Dave says:
where did you get that from

Rachel says:
my head

Dave says:
you just made that up?

Rachel says:
yeah

Dave says:
you should blog that

Rachel says:
haha