i totally love the random stuff layla comes up with. today as i was reading a book to her before her nap, she stops me in the middle of a page and says, "i want to be a butterfly." it's not like it was in any way related, we were reading the little engine that could. so i stop and we talk about it for a minute and she continues to tell me that she wants all the rest of us to be butterflies too. so i ask her what we would do if we were butterflies, thinking she would say something about flying, or looking for flowers, but no, she says, "we'll paint!" okay... then she says that she wants grandpa to be a butterfly too, and then we'll be butterflies in a tree... a brown tree. sure, why not? after that, she was done with the butterfly thought and i finished the book. the great thing about it is that she's totally serious! wouldn't it be great to be able to come up with stuff like that, and not have that stupid grown-up filter in your head that tells you that you can't really do that? i certainly wasn't going to spoil her fun.
so i’m feeling a little bit stifled right now. when i took over responsibility for shane’s education, i knew i was making a big time/lifestyle commitment. i also figured that layla and eventually, micah would be involved in this endeavor. i knew that i was stepping out into a great unknown, having never completely done this sort of thing before. it was an experiment. in general, this experiment has gone well. not entirely as planned, but well, nonetheless. i mean really, when you’re dealing with kids (or other human beings, for that matter) what does go as planned. but at this point, i have to say that homeschooling is NOT my favorite thing. it’s not that i can’t do it. it’s not that shane isn’t learning. it’s not that i’m excessively overwhelmed or that i feel like i’m failing. it’s not any of that. the best thing i can figure out is that i feel ‘boxed in’. i feel like my time and opportunities are so limited for all of us. it’s not just about shane, and with layla and micah so mu...
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