i totally love the random stuff layla comes up with. today as i was reading a book to her before her nap, she stops me in the middle of a page and says, "i want to be a butterfly." it's not like it was in any way related, we were reading the little engine that could. so i stop and we talk about it for a minute and she continues to tell me that she wants all the rest of us to be butterflies too. so i ask her what we would do if we were butterflies, thinking she would say something about flying, or looking for flowers, but no, she says, "we'll paint!" okay... then she says that she wants grandpa to be a butterfly too, and then we'll be butterflies in a tree... a brown tree. sure, why not? after that, she was done with the butterfly thought and i finished the book. the great thing about it is that she's totally serious! wouldn't it be great to be able to come up with stuff like that, and not have that stupid grown-up filter in your head that tells you that you can't really do that? i certainly wasn't going to spoil her fun.
do you ever feel at odds with yourself? i constantly feel like i'm a big wad of contradictions. and being the living-in-my-head, overthinking type i can spend years, i mean hours pondering things. it can really get me down. example: diapers. one would think that this was a relatively easy thing to handle. i've got 3 kids. i'm pretty familiar with diapers. it seems so simple; your baby needs a change so you take the old diaper off and put a new one on. done. right? no. i have this constant dilemma going on. cloth or disposable. i have 25 perfectly good fitted cloth diapers that i paid a lot of money for when i decided a couple years ago that i was done filling up landfills. so micah wears them a good share of the time. but it bugs me that they're so bulky, especially with the covers on and clothes fit funny and that totally drives me nuts. so at home, he just wears the diaper w/ no cover and when we leave the house, i put a disposable on him. not usually...
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