Tuesday, July 24, 2012

displeased, at odds, feeling kinda… itchy.

not like in a ‘get some calamine lotion’ way…

I’m just kind of in a funk.

I seem to do this periodically, when there’s not a lot going on. maybe I just finally have time to sit back and reflect at what is/has been going on in my life because I’m not running here and there LIVING it for a change.

we’ve been SUPER busy the last several months… with the house buying and the packing and the moving and the unpacking and the end of school thing and the moms club thing and the pasadena wedding thing and the birthday thing and the stp thing…

and all that time it was this mantra… if I can just get through may!

which turned into “if I can just get through june!”

well, here we are nearing the end of july, and minus a few outstanding commitments and other such stuff I need to get done, I’m sitting here in the middle of summertime ‘life as usual’. late nights, late mornings, little plan of what we need to do or where we need to go…

it’s SO nice!

unfortunately (or probably the opposite), it gives me time to THINK!

and if you know me at all or have read more than a handful of posts on the blog, you know that THINKING generally leads to some sort of major analysis and dissatisfaction with myself/the status quo/the way things are/etc… which leads directly to some sort of longwinded, philosophical, generally repetitive blog post.

well, welcome!

I think my biggest beef right now is complacency.

it covers so many of the topics spinning around in my head.

we are moved in… but nowhere near unpacked. well, that’s not true. we are unpacked enough. that is a dangerous place to be. there are still an assortment of random boxes in the garage that are halfway unpacked. they haven’t been touched in well over a month. our formal dining room (which is really just a room right now) has piles of framed pictures and décor which has been sitting there. waiting to be hung… we have an empty dresser in our bedroom which has a pile of junk on top of it… just random stuff we need to do something with, and the dresser itself needs to go out of there. (and be repainted, but that’s another story.)

but my biggest issue right now is religious complacency. does this sort of thing even exist outside of the us? good grief. we call ourselves christians. we get up every sunday, put or butts in a pew and call it good. (I’m not speaking of myself specifically, or of my family, just a generalized american religious theme – which is not to say that we [my family] is not guilty of being a part of that at times.) the saving message of the gospel is life-changing! where is that reflected? the commands of Jesus are clear. GO! LOVE! FORGIVE! DO! BELIEVE! I feel like we (as a church – not A church, THE church) spend too much time, energy, and money on stuff that doesn’t matter… THINGS, not people. we worry about evangelizing ourselves, instead of those in the world who have never had the chance to hear the gospel. we buy bigger and bigger houses and fill them up with things and not people. things do not need the power of God in their lives. people do. things cannot share the gospel. people can. we trust in our things. our money. our insurance. our jobs. our security. our 401k. our PLAN. and we get all bent out of shape when something comes along that might threaten that… but do we trust in God? do we ever give God a chance to truly bless us? to rewrite our plan so it matches HIS plan?

and don’t worry, I’m not excusing myself from any of this. I’m as guilty as anyone else, maybe more so.

so that’s where I am this morning… contemplating complacency.

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