one of two options here…

either I hit the jackpot…

or my parenting is an epic fail…

or maybe both.

2 of my 3 kids had to go to the dentist today. micah, for a cleaning and layla, to get some cavities filled. we’re going back on wednesday so shane can have a cleaning and layla can get more cavities filled.

and then micah gets to go back next tuesday.

to get one of about 4 million cavities filled.

WHAT????

sigh.

so, I’m feeling like a total failure as a parent here.

in addition, I’m a little confused.

see, I’ve never had a cavity.

yes, I’m 37 years old, and I’ve never had a cavity. NEVER.

I also never needed braces and I still have all 4 of my wisdom teeth. I realize I’m a bit of a dental freak, here.

but I grew up knowing that I would be TOTALLY BUSTED if I went to the dentist and had a cavity. I don’t know why I knew this, other than apparently my mother did a good job of instilling a horrific fear of cavities in me, and I did my best to comply. I took for granted that if you brushed your teeth and didn’t eat a lot of candy, you wouldn’t get cavities.

that’s what she told me. that’s what I did. it worked.

and of course, the opposite is true of people who DO get cavities right?

the gargle mountain dew all day and keep a stash of jolly ranchers in their pockets at all times.

and they never brush. EVER.

and so… here I am, parent of the year, bringing my cavity-infested, lollipop-drooling children into to the dentist to get poked and prodded and drilled and all that.

I totally suck.

somebody call CPS, because clearly I’m not a fit mother.

but wait.

they DO brush. twice a day.

they get soda, MAYBE once a month, micah even less! any one of my children (or my husband) will tell you that I’m a total sugar nazi. we do not buy candy. ever. they get some at halloween and usually some shows up at christmas or valentine’s day, but not because I bought it. we almost never have dessert. we don’t even have juice!!

what. the. heck???

I felt totally humiliated today, as the hygienist who cleaned micah’s teeth said the words, “I don’t know if he’s getting a lot of pop or candy, or what…”

no! he doesn’t!

but.

yeah. I feel awesome.

so layla got tortured today with an hour and a half long appointment that included a mini root canal. she was only amused by the laughing gas until it actually started. she was plenty numb, so nothing hurt, but keeping your mouth cranked open for that long is not super fun. the worst part of it all was that she had never been though this before, so she was terrified and didn’t know what to expect really. wednesday’s appointment should be much quicker and easier.

micah was awesome for his appointment, and chatted the ear off of his hygienist every time he didn’t have something in his mouth. he did give her a bit of a hard time about the pink sunglasses, but eventually agreed he could wear them as long as he didn’t have to keep them. he kept asking her when he got his toothbrush. it’s a good thing he had me laughing so hard, or I might have been crying instead.

wednesday should be interesting.

all the reminding, nagging, etc. doesn’t seem to influence shane to brush… and he has a way of getting cookies, soda, whatever from friends and grandparents and hobos walking down the street… just kidding about the hobos.