Friday, February 29, 2008

poop phobia

i'm going insane! my daughter is the most neurotic person i have ever met. not to mention aggrivating. we are now on day 3 of this particular round of what i have come to call 'the poop dance'. every 3 days (or so, depending on how long she is physically able to keep it up), we have to deal with layla's absolute insistance not to poop. when i tell people about this, they get all concerned and say that she's constipated and that we should give her miralax, because that's what worked for their kid when they were constipated. well, let me just clear this up. she's not constipated. it's not that she can't poop. it's that she won't. she flat out refuses to poop. eventually it does happen, obviously, but everytime it does, she freaks out, cries, and then apparently makes a mental note of what caused that to happen and then remembers not to do that next time. she used to say, 'i need to poop.' now, you could pay her a million dollars (or m&m's) and she WILL NOT admit that she needs to. it could be falling out of her butt and she will still say she doesn't have to if you ask her. a couple of times, we've been successful at getting her to 'push' while sitting on the toilet. so now she WILL NOT, under any circumstances, push while on the toilet. she has also now figured out that movement of any kind makes her feel like she has to poop (ie: playing, walking around), so now she will lay down. she will pee like 20 times in an hour, as if somehow if she pees enough, it will make up for the poop and then she won't have to do it. when she is walking around, she walks on her toes, i assume, because that makes it easier for her to squeeze her cheeks together and keep the poop in. she will dance back and forth from one foot to the other. she will do this dance in circles around her potty. and the worst, she will walk around making this super annoying, high pitched, panicky 'uh-uh-uh' sound that makes me want to scream or jump out of a very tall building. so, to date, these are layla's verbal indications that she needs to poop:
1. "i want you."
2. "i need you."
3. "i want a hug."
4. "i want to take a nap."
5. "i need to go pee."
6. "i want my underwear."
7. "i want my pants."

some kids do this because they don't want to poop on the potty. so they'll ask for a diaper and poop there. not layla. she doesn't want to poop at all. and by the way, the quickest way to stiffle a poop, is apparently to sit on a potty. the only way layla poops is if it literally falls out of her. she will not help it along and will do everything in her power to keep it from happening. oh, and in case you're wondering, she can't be bribed. not for all the tea in china. there is no incentive in the world that is convincing enough to get her to even try to do it. no way. so that's me venting. hopefully it will fall out soon (and hopefully on the potty) and then i won't have to deal with this again for 3 more days! oh yeah!

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