Skip to main content

poop phobia

i'm going insane! my daughter is the most neurotic person i have ever met. not to mention aggrivating. we are now on day 3 of this particular round of what i have come to call 'the poop dance'. every 3 days (or so, depending on how long she is physically able to keep it up), we have to deal with layla's absolute insistance not to poop. when i tell people about this, they get all concerned and say that she's constipated and that we should give her miralax, because that's what worked for their kid when they were constipated. well, let me just clear this up. she's not constipated. it's not that she can't poop. it's that she won't. she flat out refuses to poop. eventually it does happen, obviously, but everytime it does, she freaks out, cries, and then apparently makes a mental note of what caused that to happen and then remembers not to do that next time. she used to say, 'i need to poop.' now, you could pay her a million dollars (or m&m's) and she WILL NOT admit that she needs to. it could be falling out of her butt and she will still say she doesn't have to if you ask her. a couple of times, we've been successful at getting her to 'push' while sitting on the toilet. so now she WILL NOT, under any circumstances, push while on the toilet. she has also now figured out that movement of any kind makes her feel like she has to poop (ie: playing, walking around), so now she will lay down. she will pee like 20 times in an hour, as if somehow if she pees enough, it will make up for the poop and then she won't have to do it. when she is walking around, she walks on her toes, i assume, because that makes it easier for her to squeeze her cheeks together and keep the poop in. she will dance back and forth from one foot to the other. she will do this dance in circles around her potty. and the worst, she will walk around making this super annoying, high pitched, panicky 'uh-uh-uh' sound that makes me want to scream or jump out of a very tall building. so, to date, these are layla's verbal indications that she needs to poop:
1. "i want you."
2. "i need you."
3. "i want a hug."
4. "i want to take a nap."
5. "i need to go pee."
6. "i want my underwear."
7. "i want my pants."

some kids do this because they don't want to poop on the potty. so they'll ask for a diaper and poop there. not layla. she doesn't want to poop at all. and by the way, the quickest way to stiffle a poop, is apparently to sit on a potty. the only way layla poops is if it literally falls out of her. she will not help it along and will do everything in her power to keep it from happening. oh, and in case you're wondering, she can't be bribed. not for all the tea in china. there is no incentive in the world that is convincing enough to get her to even try to do it. no way. so that's me venting. hopefully it will fall out soon (and hopefully on the potty) and then i won't have to deal with this again for 3 more days! oh yeah!

Comments

you may like...

week 47 in pictures

sunday: the MOMS club collected halloween candy to send off to deployed troops. we had to separate chocolate from non-chocolate candy and layla and micah were happy to help, especially since they got to skim a little off the top. monday: missing something? I opened the microwave and the vent cover came along with the door. tuesday:just a little wrestling before bed. wednesday: the atm gave me these totally weird $100 bills! thursday: book dominos. friday: ginger found a sun puddle in micah’s room. saturday: at ella’s birthday party. a couple of extras:  

instafriday

it’s friday again!!! and that means: layla, still sick, but enjoying some brady bunch episodes in the recliner, with a cat, and a… tent? no idea. this warms my heart! checking out our family history via project life… circa 2007. LOVE! what I spent my sunday evening tackling: done! thank goodness. micah’s “hooked”! hahaha! a quick visit to the library. dinner: meatloaf, green beans, and very pretty roasted potatoes. I got this awesome little bundle at the store that had yukon golds, red, and purple potatoes. purple potatoes are SO fun! I tossed them with some olive oil, salt and pepper, thyme, oregano, a little rosemary, and a bunch of garlic! so yummy. the meatloaf was good, too! operation: pick out cheesy, cheapo valentines. yes, I live in yuppy-ville. if you call 1-888-dog-waste, you can PAY someone to scoop your dog poop for you.I wonder if shane knows about this… empty peanut butter jar = very happy dog. yes, that’s my 5 year old, excitedly tromping in to preschool with...

2017–week 14

sunday: i had some professional development classes to take for work, so i was chained to the computer for a good chunk of the day. this was my companion as i worked. monday: very odd day. there was a threat of violence at the high school, so pretty much most of the student body stayed home. shane was among those lobbying for a day at home, so to ensure it wasn’t just a day of fun and leisure, i made him a lengthy to-do list to keep him occupied. i think it worked out very well. ;) also monday: when i got home from work, i took bonez on the longest walk ever, because it was such a nice day. this is some of the awesome spring color we saw on our walk. wednesday: i was making white chicken chili for soup supper at church, and was tossing my cans into this bag for recycling. i seem to have attracted the local wildlife. saturday: school’s out for spring break, which means it’s time for my traditional school break to-do list. i make one for every break, and usually don’t get that much o...

meal plan monday

monday: chicken caesar salads; bread tuesday: bruschetta chicken ; salad wednesday: french dips; chips; carrot sticks thursday: hamburger helper; green beans friday: pizza and assorted other junk/health foods (for layla’s birthday party) saturday: this is layla’s birthday, and she mentioned wanting ribs, but since sunday is shane’s birthday, and I’m pretty sure he’s going to say ribs as well, we will have to figure out which one gets the ribs on their birthday… we may go out the other day, depending on what the birthday people decide. sunday: whatever we don’t do on saturday. it’s still in the 80’s and 90’s this week, so I’m trying to avoid stuff that requires the oven to be one for an hour in the evenings, and nobody wants to eat soup when it’s hot out (well, I would, but nobody else).

week 10 in pictures

monday: micah’s favorite food in the whole wide world… tuesday: his new favorite passtime… setting up soccer cones in ‘roads’ that he then ride through. thursday: earning their keep! actually, the just wanted to help me clean so I gave them rags and a bottle of windex. also thursday: at book club, ingrid telling her famous “making meatballs with the kids” story. friday: a sunny afternoon MOMS Club park playdate. micah got hungry and wanted to leave, so his friend was kind enough to offer him some of her lunch to keep him there a little while longer. also friday: layla at a pj party with the birthday girl. saturday: a dry, sunny saturday meant the first mow of the season followed by fertilizer application! just one skinny this week… micah was ‘on the ball’ at target. yes, that’s a plastic axe stuffed down the back of the shirt… pretty sure he’s a ninja. and some little squares I will collage to put in the book.           book shots: